I often wish I were still young enough to go clubbing. Then I hear about something like this: guys slathering themselves in Preparation H before they go out dancing, in order to decrease water retention directly below the skin and make themselves look more muscular.
I love the guy (who shall remain anonymous here--if you want to know his full name, click the link) who says “If you want to get laid, you have to know how to dance....And if you want girls to dance with you, you have to look ripped.” Does this not make him sound like a totally repressed and overcompensating homosexual? And a total asshat? It makes me want to be young and gorgeous just so I could snub him and then dance with some schlubby guy.
But here's the best part: this is now on this guy's permanent record. FOREVER. So everyone will know what a douche he is. FOREVER. Yay internets!
(Can you imagine someday when he has kids? "Daddy, did you really put hemorrhoid cream all over your chest to get ladies to have sex with you? Is that how you met Mommy?")
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